Short one.

Posted: February 19, 2013 in Uncategorized
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If you consider yourself as a male you’ll NEVER send her any Taylor Swift songs. No, Justin Bieber’s are not good too.

You know what, let’s make it NEVER send her any songs! 

Namaste. 

I told you already how to trick girl to go out with you and expect you to do a good job, but what happens next?

I don’t want to talk about walking her home on dark and scary streets and good night kiss. It’s kinda gross and I’m not ready to give any advises about it. As I said before and do repeat again Be a dude and find the way to figure it out by yourself. If it’s too hard, let me know and I’ll do my best a create a class about it. When I’ll get drunk of course.

So today’s topic is texting and social networking as texts are far less than just a sms on the cell. We’ll talk about FB stalkers and crazy followers.

Let’s start with something easy. Social networks can be very useful in terms of collecting the data to “find” so many things in commons. Don’t comment all of her statuses or pictures. Try to get some dignity, you know. Buy some or trade for your grades. As far as I know it will not help you in life that much as sex. But you can once in a few days like something or don’t like some sharing. That will attract more attention when liking all 99 albums of pictures and girly statuses about true love and bad parents/school/grades. You DON’T care! You’re not her girlfriend to care about all the crap in her head. Believe me, I’m saving you. We have girlfriends to talk and boyfriends to pretend to care and hug.

Texting can be tricky but as well it can open you a new value trajectory. Google this word!

So let’s see, you had a nice date and now you want more right now. LAME! You have to wait few day and show that you’re not that lame as she saw you on your date. Be cool. Ok, who am I kidding? Pretend to be cool.

In two days you should text her. God save you if your text looks like the one 15 years old can write. No whatzup-baby! Are u teen and horny? No, even if it is so, HIDE it! Write something sweet but masculine. Try to say that you liked your date and would love to see her again sometime. AND ask her about her day or mood. Make her answer as if there’s no question in the text she might not respond even if she’s a polite and nice.

And remember you’re a dude, not she’s.

Assume you’ve found a pretty girl who doesn’t have other things to do Friday night. I know it very hard, but there’s a small possibility. Let’s calculate. There’re 7 billion people on the Earth. Half of them are dudes, and you’re not driving on the other side of the road, that is not your option. Next, half of the females are married and old. Other half are going to be married, engaged or just not single. Next half are just to pretty. 50% of the rest are just too smart to even consider. So it’s not your customer. 99,9% live too far to reach without superpowers. And half of the rest you really don’t wanna see naked when you’re sober. One more don’t forget about lesbians. So now we have a little less then 20 women around.  

However, lets think that you did find this God’s creature next to you.

So what should you to do to make her stay and doesn’t just jump on the nearest plane to go so far away that even Mars would look like around the corner trip.

At first, asking if she would like to go out. Start with doing background check. Boyfriends, music, favorite flowers and Facebook. Facebook. Facebook. Facebook.

You don’t have to like all her 3562k pictures on FB. But you   have to friend her first. Be a man, don’t wait for her to do all the job for you. You can start the talk or discussion, but NEVER ask her out online. Be brave and do it face to face. She might go out with just because she’s a good person and can’t say no to your face. That’s what I call a strategy.

Second, don’t make to choose anything. Be a dude and when you’re asking her out, you have the exact plan already. You can play nice and ask her opinion on small details or choosing the movie. But this one can be tricky. Don’t give her too much of freedom, because she’ll choose to stay elsewhere, where she can do something more pleasant and nice.

That’s the main rules. Study them, because with time everything will become more complicated.

If she switches to lesbian after your date I wont be surprised but let’s hope you can make it happen and don’t crew everything. Fingers crossed for a miracle. 

Get out dudes, you’re safe. Valentine’s Day is over and you can continue doing whatever you were doing before. However, let’s think about other side. Its the only day on the year when you could get sex for flowers and stupid crap with hearts. You missed it, you’re the one to blame.

On my first class I teach you basics.

So, write down the main and the most secret fact. GIRLS ARE SIMPLE. We just pretend to be complicated and hard to deal with. We need someone to handle our imagine problems. We some someone who pretend to care. So for start think about it.

Let’s assume that you have already had a girlfriend. Whom am I kidding? You don’t have one. But let’s assume. So you see her going crazy and yell at you and doesn’t want to follow your plan. What should you do? The main question is what you shouldn’t do. Never tell her what do to, because she doesn’t need it. She will just get mad and start the speech “I’m a grown woman, I can manage to decide by myself what to do.” And believe me you don’t want to hear all this crap.

That’s why your strategy is to tell her that she’s very skinny and you DO care about the dress/pants/shoes/purse. In fact you don’t bother and can’t see any difference between this grey jeans and other completely the same one. Just remember there’s the huge difference and you’ll punished for not seeing that. Save yourself! Another part is you-are-not-fat. This one you should repeat 3 times a day or more. Don’t even think to forget or say it less, she’ll notice and you’ll be very screwed  and that the moment to start running.

So that’s it for today. Study hard we’ll have quiz next time.

Introduction

Posted: February 15, 2013 in Uncategorized
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What if you move to Paris and find out that the city of love has a serious problems with dating, boys and sex. Nothing is happening here. They are strange and a little ugly in their own world. 

However, Paris made me realize that I need to share my wisdom and teach you, strange people how to live. 

So the game begin. 

P.S. and more more. Guys, really, make notes I’ll teach you all the secrets.